Hold On to Happy

When I was very young, about Emma's age, my grandfather was a Lutheran minister who ran our family mortuary. It may sound morbid to some but I spent many hours playing in the halls of the funeral home, watching my grandfather hold services and playing in the office with my grandmother. I remember clearly walking down the dark wooden hallway hearing the echo of my grandfather's tenor voice and the softness of his hands on the piano, "O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made; I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout the universe displayed. Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art." I close my eyes and still hear his voice, see him sitting at the piano singing to an empty chapel.

I never felt scared being around death as a child, in fact, I remember feeling comforted knowing these people were loved on earth and were now home with God. A mortuary is not depressing but an pediatric oncology department...that is depressing. It occurred to me in church this morning as we sang the old hymn How Great Thou Art and my grandfather's memory filled my head with sweetness that Emma
will remember these days. I am not sure if that is good or bad. At least when she is an adult she will have a great perspective not many share that there should be no sweat in the small things. That we should live each day as if it was our last, to take joy in what we can as it happens. I hope she remembers days like today, playing at the park with her family. I hope she remembers the kind nurses who giver her pink ponies for being brave, the church friends who bring us meals, dear friends who come to play, singing with Grandma, Auntie who arrives for a weekend visit just because she loves us, and mommy stopping to treat us to chocolate milk because it just felt right. I hope she forgets all the bad and only remembers the good.

This post is for you dear Emma, remember the good things we do together. Remember the fun times. It wasn't all dark, we had good days. Hold on to the happy times.

And sometimes we smash whip cream pies in our face for childhood cancer awareness! Our Whip Challenge