But if not...

Darkness closes in, all consuming, all surrounding darkness. I will fully admit it has been rough lately. To have one sick child is a nightmare, to have a second...well, there are no words to describe the despair. About a month ago my friend sent me an audio book to listen to on the way to chemo. Each week I popped a CD in and listened to an inspirational cancer survivor tell me how she found Joy even in the midst of cancer. Through her journey I have learned what Emma must be feeling some days but cannot communicate it to me in any way other than a whimper. She accurately describes the dark feelings, the loneliness, the pain, the sorrow. Things she says hit home for me in so many ways.

On Monday she was talking about a story we are all familiar with from VBS or Sunday school. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They failed to submit to the king's demand to worship him and instead clung to God's promise to protect. They were thrown into a firey furance to die a horrible death. Instead God met them in the furnace and saved them. God came to the rescue. They went into this death march saying, God can save us. But if not...

But if not? God can save you from death and danger but if not...then what? You praise Him still. The thing about those three brave men is they were saved, from death. However, they were not saved from a life of working for a mad man who once tried to kill them all. No, they will live out a life on the edge always wondering what will set him off again. They were saved by the miraculous hand of God but it did not solve all their problems. Yes, God could save us but if not we will still praise Him and cling to His promise to protect and provide.

This week as I pondered "But if not" I set out to do an online auction for Emma. A month ago when I was planning it with a group of an amazing women we hoped to repeat how well we did last year. We wanted to give Emma as much support as possible in her account to pay for all the expenses that pile up. Then Gracie got news that she was entering the battle field. Suddenly my need for this auction to do well multiplied. God heard our cry for help. The auction is still open for a couple days and we already tripled what we did last year. The blessing of these funds means so much more than anyone can imagine. It means we will not have to worry as much and we can focus instead on Emma and Gracie's health. If you have not had a chance to visit the auction yet please do, so rarely do we get a chance to witness God's provision in such a tangible way. It is truly a miracle. She's a Fighter