Sunday, April 5, 2015

Easter

Happy Easter! Our girls just arrived home from Easter service and are taking a post egg hunt nap so I have time to update everyone on this week. Today we went to our church for Easter breakfast, a children's service and an egg hunt. It was the first year I saw all three girls really into the egg hunt but they did not quite get the idea. All three would find an egg,
open it, empty the contents into the grass then laugh and move on to the next egg. They left a trail of bracelets, candy and bouncy balls in their wake. It was cute to watch.

This week had highs and lows. As we near Emma's next MRI the chemo increases, along with that comes an increase in symptoms. We have more headaches, fevers, aches, numbness and just general feelings of ick. It puts Emma in a bad mood to feel so rotten and in turn that puts her sisters in a bad mood because she does not want to play and we have to stay home to allow her to rest. We had a fever scare this week and nearly took her to the ER, luckily the oils kept
her low and some rest did the trick which saved us a trip and tons of tests.We have chemo again tomorrow so sadly the cycle starts all over again. I will soak up the last few hours of happy Emma for today to get me through tomorrow.

Yesterday we hand delivered the first Fighter box to Miss Sophie. Cancer and essential oil use brought her mother and I together. We connected on many levels and lead similar home lives for our children. We just get each other. Chemo moms have a deep understanding of each other that no one
else, no matter how good their intentions, could understand. How it only gets worse and not better, how each day we are more tired then the day before, how we put on a brave face for our kids and cry ourselves to sleep when they are not looking, how each night that we do get sleep is filled with nightmares. You can just BE with each other, a look says it all, a single line gets your point across. It is a very deep connection. We crave these connections because so many people do not understand and our souls cry out to be heard. But these relationships come at a cost. When their children hurt, you hurt. When their children go home to God, you grieve. There were no words that I could say to
Sophie's mother, nothing to make her feel at peace or bring happiness. So we sat together and just talked about anything. Emma sat next to Sophie and held her hand, I saw them look at each other and my heart broke a little. It is all just so unfair. We need a cure. I am glad that we had a chance to bring the Fighter box, I actually saw a Sophie smile at one point and her sister Melanie was giving a busy box as well. Thank you for supporting the Fighter campaign, I am so glad we were able to bring a little sunshine. To Sophie we say to keep fighting the good fight and to #staysophiestrong

It was Easter vacation last year that we spent in LA with our family. Emma was still undiagnosed and her eye was causing pain everyday. We were lost and with out a name to fight. This year we are seven months into chemo fighting the cancer dragon but I consider us more blessed then the year before. This year we have made progress, we are beating that cancer dragon as best we can and living what life we have to the fullest. I hope that by next Easter I can say we are in recovery. Easter blessings to all of you out there in Emma's support network, may you feel God's love today.

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