My sister asked me what she could do to help. I sat at my cell phone with tears not knowing what to say. "I am hungry but I can't eat and I am tired but I can't sleep." Maybe it is from being strong for so long. Maybe it is all the extra life annoyances the last two weeks like the car breaking down or the transition as Daddy changes jobs. I am not sure what exactly it is but I believe it is many, many things that add up to this feeling of being "done".
I was talking to my friend the other day about our car problem. Little did I know that the day I was getting my car evaluated at CarMax she was as well. We have the same problem, chemo and numerous health related appointments put so many miles on our car so fast that the cars are breaking down. You are faced with an impossible choice of putting money you do not have into a car that will just keep eating money or try to find a way to replace the car. Sadly the cars are now worthless from the high mileage and still have a couple years of payments left. Both of our families are in the same position, we can't afford to replace the car. She said she vented to an NF support group and heard a resounding, "BEEN THERE!". It is not something you consider when dealing with our type of situation but apparently it is a common issue...and a huge one. If we do not have good and reliable transportation for our kids then we cannot get them to appointments and why waste money on a car money pit when it can be put toward the child?
This conversation gave me an idea so I am going to put it out there to the world, a chemo kid transportation charity. The charity would buy loved but still good condition cars, check for any issues, and clean it for our immune compromised kiddos. Then families would apply that either need transportation to get to chemo or had there car ran into the ground from chemo and cannot afford to replace it. People could even donate cars to the charity for a write off. So there is my idea, now someone who reads this who has money please make it happen and I will help! I even have the first family you can help, Jaxson, you get the first car!
In happier news Emma and Gracie had ballet today. It was so sweet to see them dance around and
laugh. What a brave teacher they have, a class of 3 and 4 year olds is no joke! Watching Emma today brought a little happiness to my very stressed heart. Life can be so cruel sometimes but she dances anyway. It is a sweet little lesson I am trying to teach myself, just keep dancing.