Freedom. I feel like we are Prisoners of War finally released from our bondage. A year ago our future looked bleak. I imagined what it would be like to plan Emma's funeral. There were days I would grab her and sink to the floor sobbing at just the thought that I could not rip the tumors out of her brain myself. Now we have a future, I can make plans for her, for us. Freedom.
This week in the most literal sense Emma is going through a detox and slowly her body is returning to normal. Her hair is growing rapidly, her nerve pain in her feet happens fewer times in a day, and her chemo rage tantrums are happening less and less. Of course Emma was one of the rare children that becomes hyper from chemo treatments. She was bouncing off the walls after hospital trips and now she falls asleep easier and actually takes a nap in the afternoon.
She is detoxing in other ways as well. For so long her health was the center of the family dynamic, now she is closer to being a "normal child" then she has been in her recent memory. I see her trying to make sense of it all, I am too.
Emma goes to the surgeon on Thursday. We will be monitoring her main tumor for more debulking surgeries to prevent it from causing issues like seizures. She will also see the Neuro Pediatric Opthalmologist to check her eye health and get a more accurate prescription.
Gracie also gets a break from Stanford tests and medicines but she will begin a party of different therapies as soon as I can find specialists that are not two hours or more away! She needs to get into Occupation Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Physical Therapy. Of course we live in an area where all those doctors do not take children.
This week was our first full week of homeschool and we took "no more chemo" pictures with the
I am still not in a position to share publically what happened with Emma. So many of you wonderful friends and family members have asked gently what occurred. I wish I could talk about it, soon, just not yet. Just for now let's be happy that we are free from chemo.