Friday, May 22, 2015
Today I added something to the list. About a year ago Brad and I started talking about getting Gracie some type of therapy to help with issues she has had since birth. I put in a referral to our family doc but the local specialist was booking months into the future. 8 months later we finally saw the Neurologist. Just as we suspected Gracie has something going on that requires attention. We will not be disclosing her diagnosis just like with Emma's specific type cancer. We do not like labels and people tend to jump to conclusions about quality of life and life span range. We are not sure yet if her issues are related to her condition at birth, NF, or another disorder. He ordered an MRI which will tell us which dragon to fight.
I fear the MRI. Night after night I am visited by fears of having two of my three children in the Oncology dept. Or the other fear is Gracie has a whole different dragon requiring an equal time investment to Emma...time I do not have.
When we had infertility issues I prayed to God for children. I pleaded with Him to send us a child. Back then I never imagined I would end up with such Extreme Parenting. Although I love our children with all my heart and would still pick them in a line up of all the children in the world I wonder...will this be what breaks me? Can I handle another issue? But most of all, why God? Why me? Why us?
Please pray for us as we fight Gracie's new battle as Emma's war rages on in the background.